Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. I love chocolate to eat. 5. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Pickle Jokes. Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! The star of the family friendly "Full House" and "Fuller House" series and host of the even more G-rated "America's . Are you chocolate spread? Knock Knock! With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Dont they actually counteract each other? Shock-o-lat. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" If youve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youre eating it too slowly. Are you cold? There was a convertible. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Dairy, who? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet (1888-1935), the damnable agent of necromancers and sorcerers. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Milton Hershey, Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". What is a monkey's favorite cookie? My final hope for a smokin' hot body! Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Why did the M&M go to University? Patrick Skene Catling. Can you be my mocha? I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth Robert Paul. Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates..(Why?) What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common? (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! Darling, you are like chocolate, you make everything better. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. You have this certain snap that made me notice you just like how I know a good bar from bad. Required fields are marked *. You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. Chocolate chimp! Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? It gets her Snickers in a Twix. Whos there? Addiction & Guilt "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". 7. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Have a look! Whos there? Theres nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? (LogOut/ It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate? 3 What did the egg say to the clown? The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!" You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. You wont ever need to bring me sweet food, I like you enough. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. Hell hath no fury like a woman who has sworn off fudge and chocolate. A little boy was taken to the dentist. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso. Because I want to swallow every last drop of you. Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. "Don't worry, son. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. A Candy Baa. What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? Baby, I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! Keep calm and eat cookies. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Religion What is a feminists favorite chocolate bar? Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. You can also listen to t. Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? Knock knock! You are a fountain of all the sweets in the world and that is why I love you. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? . And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Why? Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. Change). They had a baby, Ruth. Chalk, who? What use are cartridges in battle? Today, it's sunny with a chance of sprinkles! Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. C? Youre hot, and I want to be on top of you. Are you chocolate? It is crazy, the way you make this heart beat faster the way only sweets can do to me. What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); University of California-Berkeley Wellness Letter, We already know that increased consumption of fruits and vegetables results in an increase of antioxidants in our blood. ", A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, nuff said. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?Decad-ant.Did you hear about the magician that had chocolate in his shirt?He had some Twix up his sleeve.I asked my 7 year old, Why do you have chocolate all over your face?He said, Saving it for leftovers.That boy cracks me up.When is the best time to eat chocolate and marshmallows?In the smorning.Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?Babe Ruth.What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?A Kitty Kat bar.If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?Diabetes.Whats the best part of Valentines Day?The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.What kind of candy is never on time?ChocoLATE.What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?A PayDay.Why did the donut visit the dentist?He needed a chocolate filling.I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasnt that funny. I dont really get the jokes funny at all! The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." If it aint chocolate, it aint breakfast! What does it do before it rains candy? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". I dont know about you but sharing this bar with you feels absolutely right. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Homer Simpson, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate. Homer Simpson, Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of womens pants. Girl I love to see and experience the sweetest you can be. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. Chocolate is one of lifes simple pleasures. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. Candy who? "People think I hate sex. The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog. What do cannibals eat for dessert? Get stuck in. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is an American animated television series created by Maxwell Atoms for Cartoon Network.The series originally premiered as segments of Grim & Evil on August 24, 2001. Your email address will not be published. Do you know a bakery around? Chocolate covered aunts. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.". What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? He had a chip in his tooth. Why is a Toblerone triangular? Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Foiled again. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. Save the Earth! - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. I think it was an Aero plane.I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. Chocolate mousse! Cruller to be kind. My day got sprinkled with love! Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? Are you Willy Wonka? What did the M&M go to college? Cause I want to take your top off. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! . I live for it. mi tief three chocolate bars. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. I love it, I love it, I love it. Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people Enjoy our chocolate quotes and jokes by clicking on a link to jump to that topic below. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Needing comforting, I then shared my COCOA with CC. Dark chocolate chimp. Knock knock! Because you're making me drool. Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. 85. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. The lisp magician gives everyone a chocolate bar. I used to hate sweets but I came to love those because of you. 2. Please sign up with your best email address. Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. The third kid went down and said, "Weeeeeeee . Q: What job function does a complete moron have in an M&M factory? I LOVED THE ONE WITH THE OLD MAN/YOUNG MAN PEANUTS! What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. What kind of candy makes fun of you? He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. More Funny Jokes. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. Life is what you bake it. Better late than never, right? 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. What kind of bar is kid-friendly? Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! Lincoln replied.if you are my wife I'll gladly drink it. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? I am always ready for something sweet like you. When people dessert you, eat ice cream! You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. What does a box of chocolate and life have in common? 3. Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. . How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Copy This. Knock, knock.Whos there?Chalk.Chalk who?Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream. Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. MOVIE URBAN LEGEND: Roald Dahl hid a dirty joke in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a beloved children's film and one of the things that people definitely love about it is how edgy the whole thing is. The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. Chocolate Chip Wookiee. Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Girl youre like a ganache cause you make this cake better just like you make my day better. As much as chocolate, perhaps. One smart cookie. Here, have a carrot! The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. And I don't love chocolate. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? 5. I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. How dairy.Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.What kind of bar is kid friendly? And it always feels good. A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. Some consider carob an adequate substitute for chocolate because it has some similar nutrients (calcium, phosphorus), and because it can, when combined with vegetable fat and sugar, be made to approximate the color and consistency of chocolate. What candy is only for girls? In the Gateaux (ghetto)! But she ate every letter in her name and left me with COCOA. HER-SHEy's Kisses! So I thought I should start a website about jokes. ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? These compounds reduce the stickiness of platelets, cells that play an important role in blood clotting. Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar? What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? You definitely taste better than chocolate. Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Decad-ant Required fields are marked *. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. A: Because it lost its filling Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. 3. The old man responded, Thats ok. Almond Joy To The World. Do you mind if I share these chocolate with you? I am a serious chocoholic. You and I were mint to be! Nope, all outer space.. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. Why don't bananas snore? Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate of which he took some Bernal Diaz del Castillo, member of Corts force, describing a meal of emperor Montezuma, 1519, Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. I do not need anything special because you are enough special in my life. Wookies don't like steak because they think it is too chewy. A Ferrari Rocher! Ice Cream Jokes. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. Easy Copy & Paste! "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: ao! Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. A Kitty Kat bar! Its not funny when someone steals your chocolate! I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. Little Truths We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. Its strengthening, restorative, and apt to repair decayed strength and make people strong. Coffee Jokes. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! A chocolate shake. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. They dont last long for fat people. If you were my husband I would poison your tea. More Quotes Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. What do you call stolen cocoa? if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Despite their hard and often seemingly thankless work, elves have a great sense of . There was a convertible. You're the milk to my cookie. Your site is very interesting. Furthermore, most of these funny chocolate jokes are clean and safe for everyone. Dr. Bachot, 1662. Get ready, because you will go ape over these banana puns: 1. They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. How do you That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street. James Wadsworth, A History of the Nature and Quality of Chocolate. He opened it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? As long as its chocolate. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. I love hole foods. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Jokes, A new British survey has revealed that 9 out of 10 people like Chocolate. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. Bagel Jokes. Whether dark, milk or white, chocolate is satisfying and decadent. 1. Diabetes.. Jake has diabetes Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. (LogOut/ Bad knees.. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. Everyone got a piece. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. I cant stand eating Turkey two days in a row. A chocolate pun! The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. So, grab your chocolate chip cookies and get ready for some laughs. What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. It is a source of polyphenols, the same type of antioxidants found in red wine, and the fat it contains is stearic acid, which doesnt affect cholesterol levels. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? Half dark and half light chocolate. Id love to be that cookie youre eating because they have the excuse to get close to your lips. If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Check out the list of chocolate jokes and puns! It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" Love & Sex A Mars bar. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? What does that have to do with anything?" Edit them in the Widget section of the. Do not Disturb! I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! C? I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love. Whats Boris Johnsons favourite chocolate bar? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? Returning visitor? If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. ChocoLATE. 3. Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. 8) No Country for Old Men: An ageism flick about a couple of retired buddies looking to vacation . Linda Grayson, The Printwick Papers. Q: Why dont they make white M&Ms? I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Your email address will not be published. Ready for some chocolate jokes? What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want! Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. Apparently, Cadburys is making an oriental chocolate bar. I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. - Chocolate Joke [2] Jokes 4 Us - Chocolate Joke [3] Fun Kids Jokes - Chocolate Joke [4] Worst Jokes Ever - Chocolate Joke [5] MyTownTutors - Chocolate Joke [6] SuperJokes - Chocolate Joke [7] Ireland Calling - Chocolate Joke
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